Remembering

 I remember not having the stamina to live without dim lightbulbs and comfort. 

A tea. A rock in my pocket. Ray would go to school and I’d listen to music and clean until he needed help with homework.

I cried and cried for ruining rays life. Friends would reassure me it was okay. I worked hard to maintain communication and health with Chris and ray. His school. The tact. 

I didn’t even stick my tongue out. I privately kept everything in for ray. 

My mind was swimming. Wanting a woman to kiss. But I am alone in my valley house cleaning and it’s isolated I’m a mom. Oh! Hopeless! Oh! The crystals!

One woman gardening. One woman parenting.