I visited you in my mind today. I saw you in a chair across from me The art I would make you what it would look like what I would write about your eyes as they met mine. A box to write, you are just a box. Things your hands touched are in this box I eat strawberry wafers and lemon hot water with ginger and I think of your. Gait. Remember L? My love for her! And no one could know. The Christmas card and my bitter lesbian heart flowed out in every loop. The lies and the secrets she gave me only to pull them away. With these objects she touched and it’s all about love. Love that is above my head like a silver blimp. It w as never real. Wave a pride flag and watch me sink into her face. Snapshots in time of them and me and how I felt. How little they gave me. How far I jumped. How people are messengers and when they leave the love remains…. Not my picture memory holding onto these shreds timeless in their representation breeding stagnancy. Get rid of it! Get rid of this junk no ...
Wheatgrass shot and rose tea rose oil rose soap rose deodorant. It’s the only thing I know. To ease this pain I know is coming, sometimes I’m better at managing it than others. This month I knew it was coming. I had to prepare and prepare well. It wouldn’t start three days of pms. Pain. Itchiness. Bloat. Coq10 turmeric oil Maca Wheatgrass Roses rose oil Eleuthero or Panay ginseng Cinnamon rose herbal tea. This is working beautifully today. My symptoms are better, we’re in San Francisco and I’m Able to walk up steep streets. Legs not as puffy.
From there to here with peppers and eggplants. I’m HOME after a rough flight left me needing a rest yesterday. I’ve never liked flying and if it wasn’t for how much I love Christine I’d be taking the bus or train as I used to do. It’s only an hour, the misery I feel, like there’s anything else I’d rather do than this…flying. It’s only an hour from Los Angeles through a rainstorm with clouds. We talk it through, air pressure holds us up it’s like a wave on the ocean. Turbulence is safe, we’ll be fine… we’ll be fine. I wore you out today so you’d be knackered on the flight, oh that’s sweet of you… my jaw is full of peppermint gum And I held Christine’s hand like it was the only thing keeping me calm. She’s taken me on 10 flights, something I once thought was impossible. I love the ground, I love my predictable little life with plenty of warm lemon water and herbs. I love to rest and care and nourish plants and plan whatever I like to do with the time I give myself. Wich is always way too...
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