If not now. When?

-

 Log cabin. (Creative vein) log cabin. All the time spent looking at the ceiling. All the time in the closet.

Wanting something g that was not there. Comforted into squashing my dreams. Now is the time to take action. To move. 

Bungalow. Home. A potters home. Home. 

Home is where love is. Not where it is imagined or clung to. Home is where love is real and lived and open. Home is bright. Home is the Whole Foods on Arroyo.

I am in transition. To move. 









Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Almost two months after NY

-
I wrote this in a long document.  Now it’s all here in one place. Horror unleashed. The hell and grime.   May 2024 I leave her. I leave her for making me feel like shit in New York. I cried with diarrhea in every toilet. I braced myself to stop eating because her abuse won’t stop.then she got in a fist fight and I froze. I kept freezing… “ are you just going to stand there???” Yeah… I’m always doing something to piss her off. So then I hide. She hurts me and she gets mad at me crying and being quiet. Why aren’t you having a good time? She picks on everything about me I cant change, my eyesight, my crooked legs. My professional decisions, my friends, my son, My choice to be financially independent and free. I never thought that was a bad thing… I’m not productive and busy all the time by choice. I love peace and order and freedom to choose my time. And? I am not a loser. I pay all my bills. I write and flow and care and love and she doesn’t care enough to really know me. To re...
Read more

Lavender blues

-
Image
  I’ve been fasting. I’ve been taking herbs. I’ve been singing mantra. I read and write and light beeswax candles over crystals. I cry.  Certain people would never treat me so badly. Yet she did. I could just stare and freeze when she got into a fist fight with a homeless woman in the subway and I screamed for cops… The road rage and the constant unsatisfaction that could never be satisfied it was sad. And I tried to relieve and lull and feed. We loved each other I loved her… she started to really scare me. My HVAC system, freezer, dishwasher, and water heater all die on the same day. I remember to speak up when I’m uncomfortable.  I did about her to everyone. Just as I’m sure she’s tried to make me look ugly and stupid… They asked and I said it. I spoke from my throat chakra from the rooftops. I really told the truth. Everyone’s shocked at what a scary person she is.  That’s not on me, all I could do was stare and be afraid. Covering her belongings in salt that Reyn...
Read more

Love in love out

-
 The love that we receive becomes the love we exude and the more love the more we glow  The glow becomes popularity….the glow our countenance, our energy. I always knew and had to counterbalance this in myself since mom didn’t give it to me. There was an emptiness in my upper stomach. A reticence. A pause. I am ready to let this go. I am ready to face what she did, I’ll answer all the questions. I’ll be brave and flexible like a wave. I am wise.I am knowing. I heal. I understand. I hold. I am held.  There is grace of my heart. There is peace in my studio.  There is love.  Love is real. I have it now. I am not alone. I am not hungry. I am not searching with hands out fearful as I was as a young girl. 20 yrs old and feeling so so cold. I am 38 with the option to grow and love and smile and feel the full beauty of my own warmth and joy. The joy of being a friend, being someone who loves. I love myself. I wear crystals and hug my brother. I speak! When I’m questioni...
Read more