The lightness in my head and back

 ROSH HASHANA.

New. Sweetness of life. Going into sweetness & atonement heaviness of Tom kippur.

These themes are strong today. Lightness sweetness. Removing darkness, after looking into the darkness. 

Generational darkness is ending here.

This masterpiece my grandfather made was above every fireplace.

Isn’t it great? No.

He beat his family after painting it drunk out of his mind. He fucked up his kids, my mother forever until she died of liver failure infront of my eyes yellow as Bart Simpson. And 

I have a choice. To end it! Bye.

For the mental health and clarity of my life, my children, my home, my work. Everyone who loves me. 

It’s time to say that the last meeting of the old dusty  Canoga park dead artists society is OVER.

It never was in my body and consciousness. I was affected by the behavior of my mother as she was having symptoms at me. But their belongings (the people who hurt her) are dust in the trash bin. 

The lightness and joy of a life lived in peace is in my sights. My mother was not strong enough to deal with 

These objects, they caused her weeks of pain. She’s rent a dumpster and let it sit for months empty. 

I am strong enough. 

I choose life.