Birthday reflections

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My mother was incredibly wise. In these times of re-forming my life I’m drawn to her presence as it comforted me beyond anything.

As I’m older and grow into myself at 37 I’m also growing into the love and presence of my own that she showed me.
The deep peace she gave me is what I have. For this I thank her, she did her job.
Her presence her continuity. Her strength.

I am Rays mother. I see the challenges my mom faced as my own. He took me out for my birthday last night. Avocado rolls. Ray is autistic. I can see my presence and influence in him and myself and I see my mother.
Moments of wisdom that I’d grown from her on this car trip to piano beach, I was writing poems and snapping pictures in the back seat.

As I’m clearing and refocusing energy on what’s really important in my life. These items I’ve grabbed through time hold wisdom. They remind me who I am. 

A cabinet of objects mostly from my mother in the corner is being unpacked full of these grounding moments. What they taught me…mother, Jewish families growing up.

It’s been all integrated for good now in this home and in this new life back to Pasadena. Skipping over the hurtful years. Some reminders as well. Of the good. 

There have been times in my life where I only had these objects or memories.
Wondering who I am.

Therapist says, seeds we plant seeds to grow later.







Ray gave me a Keith Haring pen












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