The shyness. Hitting it on the head. Communication styles. Therapy.

 This therapist is the best therapist. So many interesting points came about this week.

How my communication style is shifting into health.

How that’s uncomfortable and scary at first but that it’s needed in a healthy relationship.

The observations from my life with Chris.

How I am now as a partner. How I’m using my voice. 

The stiffness I felt of Chris “ well were together forever” I mistook his passiveness for peace.

I married my best friend butt there was something missing that I have now. We lived alone in the same house.There is no such thing as true comfort. The comfort of passive peace was not worth the pain of being misunderstood.

The fantasy of family and raising a son couldn’t be realized because it wasn’t real.

I had to make some serious changes 4 years ago. 

And now the apprehension the giddiness but also…..

The knowing that all good things take work.

There is no peace nap.

10 minutes at the end of the day, knowing his family is around him because they choose to be there.

Choose. Being together is a choice, they choose to be together everyday and that’s a choice. I love that.

We are together because we choose to be together. All relationships have times of conflict, 

Assertiveness. I am making the life that is real. I will like the life I live as it is real.

Making the bed and sleeping in it. The change of speaking my voice is hard and new but it’s worth it.

I am listened to and loved.

The steps, the therapy, it took to get here. The writing. The pondering. The life practice lived. The conscious effort towards health.

Good choices. Mirroring of friends and family. Therapist. Acupuncture herbs. Acupuncture.

I will continue the work. I must speak.