Day 5 self esteem back. Truth. 2024 into motherhood.

 This isn’t my first rodeo. It’s going now. It took two weeks.

My self esteem is back.

Truth. The truth I want.

It has to do with my mom.

It has to do with being a mom.

It has to do with owning my shit and toughening up.

Being there. Children need being there.

It’s not about self esteem. It’s not about what Chris said on the phone.

I’ll go back for Ray and Chris again. I’ll try again. And keep going.

French food, food. Toys. 

I am a good mom, there’s a way to do this right. I believe in myself.

Chris can say or do what he wants self esteem whatever.

I’m not giving up. I may want to be alone but I don’t want to 

It’s a delicate balance.

It takes functioning as my highest self for the ones I love.

When I myself never had that love. I’m too old for that now and that’s okay. 

The karmic the chain that needs breaking…..

We can still pull through as a family.

I believe and I’m not giving up.