Howto adjust my eyes to trauma/ health food and vitamins

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I’m back here again. Back to square one. 
The next step my eyes.
How many times must I do this. My eyes dulled by choosing better for myself. My eyes they shift In and out. It’s like a game I haven’t won yet….and then I must be strong and my presence suffers. 
My eyes and my body hides like the wussiest wuss, afraid to be hit again. 

Yet, I put myself in front of a lion. I fell in love with a lion.
This shyness or staring off into the wall……my thoughts are not on them….and then they are.

I am attracted to lions. They snarl and show me all of their wicked.
And I want to be fucked by that wicked because why?

Her promises empty, her actions and behavior only causing pain so emmense I couldn’t hold it in my scull.

Oh my eyes, come back. 
.
Bed.

Waking, sleeping. 
Nightmares of scary glares and anger.

Peace angels find me as I cry for help to Buddha and the enlightened ones.
My heart is cooked.
And now what?




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